CURIOUSER & CURIOUSER
Again, we are upon a week offering an eclipse—this one, I believe, is asking us to ask ourselves why we believe what we believe.
Curiouser and curiouser…
This week’s peak experience emphasis falls upon Geminian vibrations, the sun and the moon coming together in Gemini, meeting a retrograded Mercury here by one degree—all this mutability, mutating and morphing, swirling and curling—seemingly materializing—like the smoky exhalation from the caterpillar’s hookah hit.
Wandering in Wonderland, we are now rationalizing all our thoughts and feelings, striving to make sense of the nonsensical, as we begin to notice the path from which we came is quickly being brushed away…
As shamanic astrologer Raven Kaldera states of a Gemini moon, “it’s what you know, not what you sense or intuit, that sets you above the dull and ignorant crowd… even mysterious lunar information, like feelings and intuition, can—must—somehow be contained within words or symbols that cannot be spoken, cannot be put into words, infuriates and terrifies a Gemini moon.”¹
Are we being asked to speak the unspeakable?
Are we being asked to think the unthinkable?
Are we being asked to observe the unobservable?
A Gemini moon needs to find a way to integrate between the two—to play, as it were, both sides of the coin of choice.
Continued, Kaldera explains, “rather than rail against injustice, [you] will find a way to sneak justice by the authorities—[Gemini] is both honorable and a cheat, both a supporter of the system and a subverter of it, both noble and statesmen and trickster, both fair and partial, both scientist and magician, and seems to have no qualms about these apparently mutually exclusive goals.”¹
Are we, then, being asked to pull off both sides of a coin within whatever version of our reality we’re experiencing?
Are we, then, being challenged to remain calm and collected amidst it all, in our right mind?—rising above, essentially, the lazy, easy, mindlessness of being so triggered or offended at every turn?
❝The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.❞
——F Scott Fitzgerald
Taurus Balsamic Moon
The moon moves away from a very early morning connection to Uranus by conjunction, simultaneously illuminating a building square between Uranus and Saturn, to be exact again this month for the second of three squares on the fifteenth… a moon which seeks security and stability is seemingly illuminating anything but.
Consider that today’s reflections and manifestations may be offering you opportunities for stable grounded-ness so that you may open yourself to receive more insightful reveries…
Try, always, to see the opportunity within the obstacle.
These energies will build until mid-month, when Saturn and Uranus square for the second time this year, and this will occur through a degree that associates itself to pushing forward… toward rebuilding, learning from mistakes, and ‘crawling out from under an oppressive situation once one has seen the light of day…’² though also ‘warily entering a new scene; living in an operative fiction’, and really, overall, for the sake of it all: entertaining an innate curiosity.
A true curiosity toward an operative fiction… hmmmm, that’ll be something, yes!?
At this stage, through the moon’s illumination of it—it’s possible we’re at the phase of toughening up in preparation.
With everything occurring now, in seemingly all directions, it is probably best to take it all in slowly, in a mindfulness of preparation, and in a spirit of peripheral trust.
At the same time, Saturn and Chiron are building upon a second sextile, to be exact on June 23rd, the second of three, through a degree that somewhat perpetuates a mentality of preparedness, patience, and perseverance… and whatever triggers you’re already beginning to feel—these might resolve themselves quite naturally, or perhaps the dreaded and dramatic damage imagined could defuse itself entirely.
Or. And perhaps more opportunistically… these triggers—perhaps these are but alarms for you to acknowledge and look deeper into an underlying meaning, or issue.
This said—these results will still need to be prepared on your part… your triggers will not go away of themselves, but will need to be participated in—you’ll need to do the necessary work… it would seem as though the healing will only occur if the hard part is properly acknowledged and addressed, and making adjustments when things don’t go as planned.
❝If happiness is what you’re after, then you are going to be let down frequently and be unhappy much of your time. Joy, though, is something else. It’s not a choice, not a response to some result, it is a constant. Joy is the feeling we have from doing what we are fashioned to do, no matter the outcome.❞
Taurus/Gemini Balsamic Moon
Perhaps today’s energies, much like yesterday’s energies still reverberating, are but momentary gifts from the gods in that a precious place of pause is feeling both necessary and appreciated.
Also, it’s a balsamic moon—in Taurus—much like a cow in a pasture, with a panoramic view—simply breathing in and out in between urgently diminished glances of foggy detail in any direction is feeling quite nice.
Energy levels are low, and already feeling somewhat busied or anxious, influenced by a lunarly shift into Gemini midday on the west coast… imagine a cow in a pasture with an unrelenting fly buzzing around your ear and no clear perception of anything around—how alarming and urgent this must feel, but also, the powerlessness and impatience of it all…
Again, to take pause and consider the gifts of these moments—this potential calm before the eclipsed wonderland up ahead.
In fact, at this time, “you need to believe that something good is happening, and trust those involved in the situation…”³ and I realize that this may be easier said than done at this time—but maintaining an openness to it all might actually be what’s necessary to clarify the vague and answer the questions.
❝The human condition means that we can zone out and forget what the hell we’re doing… so the secret is to have a sense of yourself, your real self, your unique self… and not just once in a while, or once a day, but all throughout the day, the week and through your life.❞
Gemini Balsamic Moon
A necessary openness to Life itself continues to be the theme as the eleventh degree of Gemini is again illuminated, this time by the moon…
Reflect back to May, when this degree was hit three separate times, in order, by Mercury, Venus, and then by the sun—all demonstrating a different motivation, sure, but the essence of the degree continues to demand its due.
Today the moon connects to this degree through a conjunction with the North Node, as did all the others… healing is being offered, vibrations of love, compassion and benevolence—between yourself and an/Other—all of these flexible pardons only perpetuated by Jupiter moving through Pisces, and somewhat secured through a balsamic moon seeking to release past or present burdens.
When the balsamic moon is in Gemini, the release and letting go is likely in regard to communications and exchanges, such as tying up loose ends via text, email, or snail mail matters—these would be textbook cookbook suggestions, sure—especially as the eclipse occurs tomorrow—never a good time to begin anything new… but, really, a pre-eclipsed moon would suggest, always always, the need to retire or surrender.
Particularly, as many signs point to a similar notion… you are being asked to surrender a way of thinking about something, or regarding something, imagining something, or believing something as you believe it to be—concepts and belief systems and past patterns of development or consideration need to be released or reexamined, updated, exchanged, or improved upon…
Perhaps the manner through which you express yourself is no longer as effective as it once was, or it’s possible that what you always thought to be true is simply not true and maybe never was… or maybe, just maybe—the imaginary limitations your mind has always structured, mistakenly, for you are now being recognized, and needing to be eliminated, by you.
Today is a day to reflect, to think, and to consider inner truths… but really, today is intensely about opening your mind to the hidden and unknown possibilities all around.
❝Go deeper, beneath what people said.❞
Gemini Solar Eclipse at 19°47′
*3:52am PDT; 4:52am MDT; 5:52am CDT; 6:52am EDT
Today’s eclipse is offering light to what has been shadowed or darkened, denied, or outrightly buried… and through this light there is opportunity to trust in what is being illuminated.
What are you needing to communicate or share?
What kinds of knowledge or insight or wisdom are you needing or seeking—or receiving?
What thoughts have you been thinking?
Why do you believe in what you believe to be true?
From recent darkness, what are you beginning to see in the light?
These are some of the questions emerging now… questions you may or may not have current answers to—or answers which may feel somewhat contradictory or oppositional…
Astrologer Diana McMahon Collis points out in TMA that we “may start to drop the familiar face we show to the world and expose more of our hidden side—or that someone around us does so… this could come as a surprise or shock to whoever is not used to seeing this ‘other side’… in a personal sense, it indicates realizing something about ourselves that we denied or simply had not noticed before—if we can accept and integrate this aspect of ourselves, perhaps our experience of life can expand… much the same applies if we’re seeing another side to somebody else’s character or situation—sometimes, though, it’s hard to feel comfortable with something distinctly different from our prior experience; so, we need to allow time to adjust and try to get in touch with acceptance of this ‘new normal’.”
Either way, because messenger Mercury is conjunct this eclipse by one degree—something needs to be communicated, shared, informed, or discussed… however, the ‘right’ words may struggle to emerge—remember that Mercury is retrograde—words could be misconstrued or misunderstood, delayed, tangled, or missed entirely.
It may even be reasonable to presume that our thoughts or feelings have yet to be fully formed or processed at this time, and so words are expressed somewhat superficially, or robotically, lacking any full resonance.
Finally, Neptune squares this eclipsed triad of symbolism, adding further confusion, delay, or flummoxed perplexity.
Through all this darkness it is clarity, above all, that is necessary… try to be as clear as possible with the words you have available to define what it is you’re experiencing.
❝It may be that when we no longer know what to do, we have come to our real work and when we no longer know which way to go, we have begun our real journey.❞
Cancer Crescent Moon
Vulnerabilities are exposed today, possibly out loud. And, or, there may be a real rude reminder of your responsibilities in some regard… it’s quite possible that something very jarring has scrambled you or your thoughts and feelings.
This requires time. And processing.
Try to remember to take care of yourself—in fact, dare I suggest that whatever rude reminder you’re currently enduring could be a result of you failing to care for yourself appropriately in the first place?
Everything is relative, everything is perspective—especially now.
Today Mars moves into Leo, amping up the volume of our inner motivation from the lulling lateral lullabies and dauntingly defensive ditties we’ve been working through… no, Mars in Leo is powerful, and bold, and daring, and Mars in Leo will be heard.
Could it be that your true inner motivations have been put on hold? No longer.
Honor your inner needs—this is how you love yourself—dare I suggest that this is how we love one another…
❝What goes too long unchanged destroys itself.❞
——Ursula K. Le Guin
Cancer Crescent Moon
Today’s challenge dares you to open yourself, or to remain open if you’ve already aligned yourself with these cosmic signaling suggestions…
I realize that you may be experiencing a real mind fuck, truly, but you must remain open to it and everything this is asking you to unravel.
Flexibility is imperative.
But much more so, much more than flexibility—receptivity to give yourself, and remain open, to others despite inclinations to close off or shut down or dismiss or reject… in pursuit of your personal evolution, that is, to forgive and to heal and to be open to receive—to be open to love rather than making choices slathered in fear.
I realize: this will take a lot.
But then again—it’s likely you’ve just been schooled in a way that has brutally reminded you that you have been living in a way, or perceiving your reality in a way, that didn’t exactly reciprocate your best interests they way you trusted this did.
And so maybe this necessary flexibility is just the first step of coming out of that coma and living your life in a bright and new blinding light.
❝We think we understand the rules when we become adults but what we really experience is a narrowing of the imagination.❞
Cancer/Leo Crescent Moon
There’s a good possibility that you may still be quite defensive… and hopefully the more optimistic vibrations today will help you get over yourself a bit.
Remember that the whole point of the confusion you’ve been navigating and the reality you’ve subscribed to has just been shattered—these were efforts to release you from your own illusions, illusions which were not serving you… these were cosmic efforts to realign you to your ideals, to open you to receive these ideals.
To be open to receive your own reality, wide open…
For those of you already living your ideals—as you should be by now—perhaps these eclipses inspired gentle guidance toward timing, tweaking, tasking, or trusting further and more securely within your ideals.
Either way, consider the notion that you have been pushed up to the edge—it is now time to fly, your wings are ready.
❝Because we don’t know when we will die, we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. Yet everything happens a certain number of times, and a very small number, really. How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood, some afternoon that’s so deeply a part of your being that you can’t even conceive of your life without it? Perhaps four or five times more. Perhaps not even. How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps twenty. And yet it all seems limitless.❞
¹Kaldera, R. “Myth Astrology.” Llewellyn Publications; ©2005.
²Goldsmith, M. “The Zodiac by Degrees.” Weiser Books; ©2004.
³Hill, L. “360 Degrees of Wisdom.” A Plume Book; ©2004.
Rudhyar, D. “An Astrological Mandala.” Vintage Books; ©1973.
Kaldera, R. “Moon Phase Astrology.” Destiny Books; ©2011.
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❝If you’re dedicated to change, let it cost you something.❞
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