Leo 1st Quarter Moon at 29°01′
*12:11pm PDT; 1:11pm MDT; 2:11pm CDT; 3:11pm EDT
—May 19

Shamanic astrologer Raven Kaldera begins this chapter of “the Leo story”… as a moon phase which influences “a crisis of self-identity.”

Further, you “can become whatever it is that people want to see, and [you] pride [your]self on [your] flexibility and talent for donning each mask of persona and letting it permeate [your] whole being… [you] are rewarded for this by more and more applause, more appreciation from the ‘audience’…” and all this means is that “[you] have become desperately fused to [your] masks.”

Speaking of masks… maybe this will manifest literally, and masks will finally come off?—especially as Jupiter moves into Pisces and Mercury moves through Gemini… (and since I wrote this, this manifestation has emerged)

How much of yourself are you giving away?

Which parts of yourself are you faking? 

Which parts of yourself are genuine?

How much of yourself do you offer to others?

Kaldera suggests, that “if [you] are to break free of the cycle, [you] need to learn to retreat, gather up the last bits of [your]self, and reevaluate the importance of pleasing (and manipulating) people in [your] life.”

Today’s first quarter moon opposes Jupiter, both connecting to the sun and simultaneously firming a t-square alignment, all of which are moving through the twenty-ninth degree of Leo, Aquarius, and Taurus, respectively… suggesting something of an illusion of impression becoming inundated inwardly…

A Wonderland Within, if you will.

This is also, perhaps, a marking of the month when a certain confusion begins to settle and swirl… these illusions could be reflecting real inner feelings, and yet, simultaneously, being misinterpreted altogether.

You’re coming into your own with something—and through all of this accomplishment, and merit—is it really you?

Astrologer Dane Rudhyar states that this degree associates itself to “the stage at which an intense feeling-intuition rising from the unconscious is about to take form as a conscious thought…”¹ in other words, Rudhyar is suggesting that inner authenticity is wanting, or even needing, to become real through actualization… those you share space with, and those around you, may be able to reflect some of your you-ness through their actions and/or reactions.

What is something you long for?

Is there a part of yourself—your inner, squishy self—that you long to share with others?… a part of yourself you fear that others wouldn’t be able to accept, understand, love, or appreciate?

Do you feel you are honoring these longings?—are these longings in alignment with your heart?

Rudhyar asks you to ask yourself if the intuitive feeling will fade away reabsorbed into the unconscious, or will the inexpressible realization acquire the concreteness and expressible form of a concept?

These choices, endlessly, are yours and yours alone to make.

Today is about connecting the dots between who you really are, who others think you are, who you are working to become, and who others know you can be… you are both all of these ideas, and none of them—simultaneously… today is about making peace with this, and finding a comfort within this uncomfortable space of Beingness.

These emotional truths are powerful… and will require intestinal fortitude to navigate. An openness to receive, again, will be one of the most significant actions you can take… an openness to honesty, and authenticity.

If you’re not exactly experiencing a crisis of self-identity, perhaps the confrontational forces resemble more of a chain-of-command of priority permissions, or inner confrontations of motivation toward the forward emergence into unfamiliar frontiers…

Which of your desires, goals, or ideals are worth your time and energy in pursuing?

Which of your desires, goals, or ideals are not really yours to pursue—because they aren’t yours in heart to begin with?

❝I was by myself for a pretty long time. I needed to do that. I think everyone that I know has wanted to do that or needed to do that at some point. I think when you spend enough time when it’s quiet around you and you don’t open your mouth for three or four days, there’s parts of your brain that can kind of rest. I think when we’re out in the world and we have to talk to people, we edit ourselves. You know, we have to like, act a little bit. As honest as we may be as humans, when we’re out here, we’re all kind of wearing mirrors on our faces. You know, constantly reacting to how to react to the people around you. And I think when you’re alone for a long enough time, you can feel a lot more peace.❞
——Justin Vernon

Kaldera, R. “Moon Phase Astrology.” Destiny Books; ©2011.
Image credit— @morysetta on Instagram