Invest in yourself a few moments of your time to read the words of David R Hawkins MD, PhD from his book “Letting Go” (©2012; Hay House, Inc)… I have to imagine that it might be timely and oh, so appropriate at any time—
Blame. We need to learn how to get along… but more importantly—we need to learn how to love ourselves first.
Personal accountability, folks. It will be rewarded.
❝One of the biggest blocks to overcome in getting out of depression and apathy is that of blame. Blame is a whole subject in itself. Looking into it is rewarding. To begin with, there are a lot of payoffs to blame. We get to be innocent; we get to enjoy self-pity; the martyr and the victim; and we get to be the recip ients of sympathy. we get to be the recipients of sympathy.
❝Perhaps the biggest payoff of blame is that we get to be the innocent victim and the other party is the bad one. We see this game played out in the media constantly, such as the endless blame games drama tized in a multitude of controversies, mudslinging, character assassinations, and lawsuits. In addition to the emotional payoff, blame has considerable financial benefits; therefore, it is a tempting package to be the innocent victim, as it is often financially rewarded.
❝Blame is the world’s greatest excuse. It enables us to remain limited and small without feeling guilty. But there is a cost-the loss of our freedom. Also, the role of victim brings with it a self-perception of weakness, vulnerability, and helplessness, which are the major components of apathy and depression.
❝The first step out of blame is to see that we are choosing to blame. Other people who have had similar circumstances have forgiven, forgotten, and handled the same situation in a totally different way. We earlier saw the case of Viktor Frankl, who chose to forgive the Nazi prison guards and to see a hidden gift in his experience at the concentration camps. Because others, such as Frankl, have chosen not to blame, that option is also open to us. We have to be honest and realize that we are blaming because we choose to blame. This is true, no matter how justified the circumstances may appear to be. It is not a matter of right or wrong; it is merely a matter of taking responsibility for our own consciousness. It is a totally different situation to see that we choose to blame rather than to think that we have to blame. In this circumstance, the mind often thinks, “Well, if the other person or event is not to blame, then I must be.”
❝Blaming others or ourselves is simply not necessary.
❝The attraction of blame arises in early childhood as a daily occurrence in the classroom, playground, and at home among siblings. Blame is the central issue in the endless court proceedings and lawsuits that char acterize our society. In truth, blame is just another one of the negative programs that we have allowed our mind to buy because we never stopped to question it.
❝Why must something always be someone’s “fault”?
❝Why must the whole concept of “wrong” be introduced to the situation in the first place?
❝Why must one of us be wrong, bad, or at fault?
❝What seemed like a good idea at the time may not have turned out well. That’s all.
❝Unfortunate events may have just happened. To overcome blame, it is necessary to look at the secret satisfaction and enjoyment we get out of self-pity, resentment, anger, and self-excuses, and to begin to surrender all of these little payoffs. The purpose of this step is to move up from being a victim of our feelings to choosing to have them. If we merely acknowledge and observe them, begin to disassemble them, and surrender the component parts, then we are consciously exercising choice. In this way, we make major move out of the morass of helplessness.
❝It is helpful in overcoming resistance and taking responsibility for our negative programs and feelings to see that they come from the small aspect of ourselves. It is the very nature of the smallest part of ourselves to think negatively, so there’s an unconscious tendency to agree readily to its limited viewpoint. But that is not the whole of our beingness; for outside and beyond the smaller self is our greater Self. We may not be conscious of our inner greatness. We may not be experiencing it, but it is there. If we let go of our resistance to it, we can begin to experience it. Depression and apathy, therefore, result from the willingness to hang on to the small self and its belief systems, plus the resistance to our Higher Self, which consists of all of the opposites of the negative feelings.
❝It is the nature of the universe that everything in it is represented by its equal and opposite. Thus, the electron’s equal and opposite is the positron. Every force has an equal and opposite counter-force. Yin is compensated for by Yang. There is fear but there is also courage. There is hatred but its opposite is love. There is timidity but there is also bravery. There is stinginess but also generosity. In the human psyche, every feeling has its opposite. The way out of negativity is, therefore, the willingness to acknowledge and let go of negative feelings and, at the same time, the willingness to let go of resisting their positive opposites.
❝With humility comes the willingness to stop trying to control or change other people or life situations or events ostensibly ‘for their own good’. To be a committed spiritual seeker, it is necessary to relinquish the desire to be ‘right’ or of imaginary value to society. In fact, nobody’s ego or belief systems are of any value to society at all. The world is neither good nor bad nor defective, nor is it in need of help or modification because its appearance is only a projection of one’s own mind. No such world exists… We change the world not by what we say or do, but as a consequence of what we have become.❞
——David R. Hawkins
*1:05pm PDT; 2:05pm MDT; 3:05pm CDT; 4:05pm EDT on Thursday, October 28 2021
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